Fourth Day of July

So Steph invited me to her good friend Doriane's BBQ party for 4th of July. Doriane, who i'm sure i'm totally spelling her name wrong, is this gorgeous German girl who got married to this American dude, Adam, and they have a kid name Yanick, which is
like one of the coolest names i've heard for a boy.
So anyway, i went to their house, the place is just right off Main in the SE side of Portland, a few blocks away from the industrial area. At first i thought i was in for one of those boring, creepy house party, where there's gonna be like 2000 people, and no one knows anyone, and u're probably never gonna see any of those people again after the party. But no, the party was actually fairly small, pretty sophisticated, people just brought some beer and food, and we just hung out at Doriane and Adam's porch. The house itself is totally gorgeous, wood floors, nice furniture, front and back yard, modern and homey at the same time, totally my kind of house. Feels like a hipster with a kid. and a real job.
I didn't get to talk to a lot of people, cuz me and steph decided that we're not gonna be super social people pleaser tonight, the day was nice, so we just set at the porch through the whole party, sharing joints and taking. Until we had to walk to the river to see the fireworks.
We ended up finding a spot just right off the bank of the river, sat there and watched the fireworks that lasted for like 30 minutes.

It's one of those days that just turned out perfect. I didn't know half of the people in the party, i wasn't expecting it to be great, but for some reason it just was. Maybe it was the European mind set, European way of living that made me really chilled.

So for the first time in a very very long time, i actually felt content for a while.

"feeling content" is such a rare thing, it almost never comes to u, and it leaves very quickly. People, or me, to be more specific, looked for contentment in all sort of places. I've been feeling like shit most of the time after the break up, i'm even starting acupuncture just to get myself relax more. and of all the stuff that i've tried, who knew some BBQ and a porch will do the trick?

and as i was being genuinely happy, I knew there were a few people that i wanted to share that feeling with, few of them will probably read this and know about it, and I can think of some other people who I will never get a chance to share this with. Too bad.

I know I'll probably still feel mildly shitty for a while, but at the same time I'm very much ok.
Now that I don't have much going for me, i guess it's true that you don't have to have anything to feel happy.